VIAZI KARAI, HONEY- SOY PORK CHOPS, PINEAPPLE PECAN SALAD WITH A HONEY SOY VINNAIGRETTE

Humour keeps us alive. Humour and food. Don’t forget food. You can go a week without laughing.-Joss Whedon

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I have few friends but those that I do have I hold dear, and one such friend is Shella … my oldest friend-chronologically! ( No, she doesn’t have dentures, spectacles with lenses as thick as the bottom of a coca cola bottle, adult diapers and a walking stick! … We met in kindergarten, went to the same primary school, went to different high schools, same university different courses, had each others backs through ebbs and flows in each others lives, have gone MIA from each others life at some points in our lives (but we always find our way back to each other!) had our beautiful babies and we are still going strong! …enough of the sentimental brouhaha… such a snoozefest!!😴 💤😴

Two weeks ago I just thought of her so I Whatsapped called her and suggested we get together over the weekend, prepare a meal, have some wine (her) ,cream liqueur (me) and juice in sippy cups (her bambam and my zizmaroo)… no sippy cups were actually involved since they are way past that age! She asked me to send her a shopping list which I got around to doing a day before our lunch date (planning the menu was such a life changing decision that could not be rushed! I just had to wait till the last minute then hurriedly send it to her….NO rushing involved there!!) She’s been planning on buying a new cooker and our lunch date spurred her into getting it sooner than she might have…Come to think of it, our interactions always involve some epicurean endeavour!). With the anticipation of tinkering in a new shiny oven sending tingles in my silly place ( a girl has to take the tingles wherever the source! UNLESS of course the source of the tingles requires a doctor prescribing some antifungal/ antibacterial ointment!) I waited for the 12 hours standing between me and that wonderful inspirational marvel known as ‘the new oven’ my girlfriend Shella!

Now Lookie here! lookie here! aint she a beut!
Now Lookie here! lookie here! aint she a beut!

Saturday FINALLY crawls around and Zizmaroo and I go get a hostess gift ( really it was more a gift to myself …  Shella doesn’t need to find out!) from Coldstone Creamery – For us I got the baileys Ice-cream topped with oreo’s & coconut; for Zizmaroo and Bambam, the strawberry ice-cream topped with caramel and pecans. I usually go (more often that I would like to admit) to the Coldstone Creamery in Westlands and there is a delightful Lady called Alice who introduced me to the Baileys/ oreo’s and coconut combo and for that I am forever indebted!! Alice as soon as I get around to joining a gym, I am sending you the monthly bill!

My next stop was the junction to pick up the Vino… I have always loved the Latin phrase ‘In vino veritas’ translated – ‘in wine there is truth’…but I digress, where was I…ah! yes so I picked up the wine – truth be told I am dumb as nails when it comes to wine! but its the thought that counts right?!- and the irish liquor, met up with Shella and her friend Peggy. Shella told me her friend Peggy would join us and I thought👇

Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious. -Ruth Reichl

We hit it off and I she was lovely, such an open soul (and she brought the good wine! I suspect the next time I go to Shella’s my bottle will be stashed somewhere at the back of her fridge) … Watch this space i think I’ll start a page titled diary of a zen kitchenista…where i’ll talk about zen stuff like ... dammit where are my go to zen phrases when I need them?!

Whenever I start writing a post, I often get lost in the rambling narration in my head, to the point of forgetting that this is meant to be a food blog and that some of you may actually be here for the recipe and not for the comic relief that I presume to offer! So on that note…. *drum rolls* here’s the recipe!

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Ingredients:

For Lill Miss Piggy:

Honey- Soy Pork Chops
Honey- Soy Pork Chops
  • 1 kg Pork chops
  • 1 cup soy sauce (sweet soy preferable)
  • 1/2 a cup honey
  • black pepper
  • 3 Large red onions
  • 1 Head of garlic ( no need to worry about the man repellant characteristics this amount of garlic may have, once it’s cooked you won’t taste it….however should your man be a vampire… muhahahahaha *twiddles fingers* he will disintegrate right infront of you!)

For the brine:

  • 1/2 a cup of sugar
  • 1/2 a cup of salt
  • 1 cup water

For the Viazi Karai:

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  • Potatoes
  • 1 cup Wheat flour
  • 3/4 cup water
  • Yellow food colour
  • Baking Powder
  • Vegetable oil for frying
  • Royco cubes (the red ones, not the green kind that sends your mother in law on a witch hunt around your kitchen for meat!!)

For the Salad

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Pineapple Pecan Salad (psssst at this point we were 1 or 2 glasses of truth juice in so we forgot to toss in the pecans!
  • Lettuce
  • Pineapple
  • Celery
  • Pecans
  • Red bell peppers

Honey-soy vinaigrette:

  • 2 large lemons
  • 3 Tbsp Honey
  • 1 Tsp Soy sauce
  • Freshly ground black pepper

Directions:

Prepare the brining solution by mixing the sugar salt and water and place your pork chops in the solution to brine.

Pre-heat your oven to 200 degrees celsius.

Peel and quarter your onions … we are going for huge chunks, peel the garlic, In a bowl mix the soy sauce, honey and black pepper.

Line your baking tray with Foil Paper, place the Pork on the tray, pour in the soy-honey mixture and add the onions and garlic, if you can let this sit for an hour – Fabulous!; if not – Fabulous!… its a win-win situation – not doomed if you do, not doomed if you don’t! … after the 40 min cooking time lapses that honey-soy marinade is reincarnated into a soulful sauce! mmmmm mmmmmm!

Cover the baking tray with foil and place it in the pre-heated oven. Bake for 30 mins with the foil on, then remove the foil and let it cook for a further 10 mins (just so the pork browns nicely.)

Viazi Karai

Peel and quarter the potatoes, parboil them then set aside to cool.

Mix about 1 cup all-purpose flour with 3/4 cup water … eyeball it, you want the consistency of a thick paste, mix in the baking powder, crushed royco cubes and salt.

Add the parboiled potatoes into the wheat flour mixture and mix. Then deep fry using the veg oil.

Pineapple Pecan Salad:

Tear the lettuce, slice the red bell pepper into thin slices, chop the celery, peel and slice the pineapple…then plate… oh! and remember to toss in the pecans! don’t let the truth juice impair your memory!

For the honey-soy vinaigrette:

Squeeze the juice of two lemons, whisk in olive oil and the honey, grind… *insert the Keith Sweat ‘Twisted’ Lyrics* … black pepper to taste and either drizzle it on the salad or serve it on the side for everyone to dress their own salad.

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VIAZI KARAI, HONEY- SOY PORK CHOPS, PINEAPPLE PEACAN SALAD WITH A HONEY SOY VINNAIGRETTE.... AND SOME HAPPY AKA TRUTH JUICE
VIAZI KARAI, HONEY – SOY PORK CHOPS, PINEAPPLE  SALAD WITH A HONEY SOY VINNAIGRETTE…. AND SOME HAPPY AKA TRUTH JUICE

Needless to say, after feasting on all this, I was SATED but being who I am, I felt I would be doing the universe a disservice by not indulging in the baileys ice-cream I had earlier mentioned I also convinced myself that Erma Bombeck just have been talking to the future me when she said…👇

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the desert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Shella says:

    That food ladies and gents…was just to die for! I am so loving these moments with my sweetheart Aby… 🙂 keep it going hon. You and your cooking …rock!

    1. abidabuoro says:

      Aaaaand you just worn yourself a lifetime membership to a seat at my dining table!!

  2. Carol Moogi says:

    Am hungry already.Never knew you were this good back in high school.Thumbs up.

    1. abidabuoro says:

      hehehehe! I wasnt…..its not just fine wine that takes time…my cooking skills have improved from then!! I cant believe its 10 years already!

  3. As I stops blogging to imagine the taste of the viazi Karai and the pork….yuuumm!!! Please stop blogging about food, the humor is good enough.

    1. abidabuoro says:

      I’m selling tickets to my one woman comic routine….there’s only one ticket available, get it while you can….you snooze you lose

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